lesbianvenom:

lesbianvenom:

the pizza guy is gonna put tonight on his résumé

i made this post about the oscars and the pizza guy but now i’m sure that 95% of the ppl reblogging it now are thinking i fucked a pizza guy when i did not there has been a grave misunderstanding here my friends

183294 # 31 minutes ago

all-aboard-the-ss-karmy:

I read so much gay fanfiction that when I go to pick up an actual book I am shocked and appalled by all of the heterosexuality

54433 # 1 hour ago
141514 # 2 hours ago
107933 # 3 hours ago

nyaa:

"omg you’re just blogging for attention"

and you’re blogging??? for gold? Women? Immortality?

135100 # 4 hours ago

operate:

cravings:

when a teacher asks me a question and demands a super quick answer

image

 

83783 # 5 hours ago

jaimarie:

They should put prizes in tampon boxes, be like yeah your period sucks but here’s 50% off of some icecream.

273587 # 6 hours ago

hodali:

*white girl voice* peasants 

23315 # 7 hours ago

netlfix:

netlfix:

whats ET short for?

because he’s got little legs

140602 # 8 hours ago

laughcentre:

rhydonmyhardon:

laughcentre:

im 17 and i dont have a period yet is this weird

allan you have a penis

oh

110459 # 9 hours ago
eggnored:

me in gym class

elimin8theimpossible:

cricsyxo:

divinedorothy:

egotastical:

divinedorothy:

bisexual people aren’t more likely to cheat in relationships but we are more likely to cheat at cards, while lesbians are most likely to cheat at jenga, and genderqueer people often cheat at mario kart

how the fuck do you cheat at jenga

ask a lesbian

image

this is never not funny

590618 # 13 hours ago

jesliey:

homosaurus-rex:

homosaurus-rex:

It’s actually a good thing that the zombie apocalypse starts in Florida because then the zombies only have one way to go and that’s straight up into trigger happy redneck territory. I give it two weeks before monster trucks and mullets save us.

can we talk about how this is still getting notes

The funny thing is that i can not actually come up with a counter argument for this.

279124 # 13 hours ago

Teaching kids to give handjobs since the 90s

deanthedemon:

itskaleena:

whyiseveryonefalling:

scotchcarousel:

the-funkiest-penguin:

friendly-pedophile:

bellamyyoung:

yourgayfriend:

emisummerful:

image

You know you’re a lesbian when: You put your finger in it instead.

image

OH GOD, I ONLY EVER PUT MY FINGERS IN THEM. 

I did both…image

i did both. i also bent it, what does that tell me now

You kinky son of a bitch.

I used to step on mine until they exploded.

image

i fucking hated those things

Got my whole arm in one once

537224 # 14 hours ago
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